Family Club
by Insarai Arys
Summary: A list of drabbles in for the family that is the Host Club. Strange family but family...First up is Mother Kyouya.
1. Kyouya Mother

**Title:** Mother Kyouya

**Author:** Icassica

**Universe:** Ouran High School Host Club

**Theme/Topic:** Mother-dom and Kyouya

**Rating:** K+. Slight mention of groping.

**C****haracters:** Kyouya, Tamaki, Haruhi, Mori and Honey. Plus the Twins.

**Warnings/Spoilers:** None that I can think of...

**Word Count: **517

**Time:** Eight minutes.

**Summary:** Mother Kyouya. Makes you think of a pretty lady, doesn't it?

**Dedication:** Iz because she wanted a whole load of drabbles.

**A/N:**This is weird. Just plain weird. If you're frightened by weird, run and never look back.

**Distribution:** Warn me please but then you'll be free to take. Just a word of warning; please don't try and pass it off for your own work. It's unfair and it's not going to help you or me. I don't mind if you stick on the moon if you credit me somewhere even if it's really small at the end. Rant over...

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Mother Kyouya

Mother. The name you call the woman who bore you. Who fed you and carried you and took you to school and wiped the drool off your chin. The woman who listens to you and tells people embarrassing stories when you're a teenager. The name of the woman who is, for the first few years in your life, the most important woman in the world to you. Because Mother keeps everything running smoothly and peacefully, keeps the children from fighting and Father from interrupting. Mother directs the family like a professional because she is one.

And Kyouya knows this. And he is in a way the mother of the Host Club. He carries the Club, makes sure it works, and wipes up the messes that are bound to occur. He listens to the ideas and turns them into something applicable to the Club and he tells the embarrassing stories if you deserve it. He is the most important member of the Club in that respect. He keeps everything as smooth as possible and stops Hikaru and Karou from messing with Tamaki's head most of the time and keeps Tamaki off of Haruhi and off of him as well. He makes sure Honey doesn't have _too_ much cake and that Mori has some customers every day. He points the way to riches and being a family and a business operation come to perfection.

Kyouya thinks of the Host Club as his family. Tamaki as his partner which means Tamaki's Daddy and Mori's his eldest son. Honey's the baby of the family and the twins are the troublesome middle sons. Haruhi is the daughter, the sole daughter. Is it not unsurprising that he, as the mother of this family, associates closest with his only daughter?

He is cold and calculating. But that's who he is. He keeps the whole Club afloat. Without him, the Club would have sunk beneath the waves many months ago. And that's his charge.

"Mother! Tell the Devil-Twins to leave my darling, precious Daughter alone!" Tamaki grabs his arm and hauls him away from both his thoughts and his laptop. Looking over at the grinning twins and the exasperated Haruhi, he is ready to explode. He is almost ready to hit the roof and take Tamaki with him.

"You interrupt my accounts to tell the twins to stop molesting Haruhi correct?" He says, the thunderstorm gathering ominously behind him completely ignored by Tamaki who nods hard. "Then why, pray tell are your hands on her chest?" Haruhi gives him a grateful smile and he smiles benevolently back, "And Haruhi? If you persist in making Tamaki distract me from my work, then I will double your debt. Am I clear?"

Haruhi glares at him and moves off to serve more tea. Tamaki goes to his corner of woe and the Twins move off to make more devious plans no doubt. Thought out all this, Honey and Mori are completely oblivious to what went on. But that's the way it's always been. Kyouya sorts things out. And he will always be doing that...

Because Kyouya is Mother...

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Hey guys, 

Yet another fandom has been destroyed with my writing but it was there...And I couldn't resist. So yeah...Um... Whatever...

Basically I have a confession to make. A big one:

I like DRABBLING.

So...I badgered my friends into giving me a MASSIVE list of random words and now I have nearly five hundred random words to put a drabble to and I have done pairings and main characters have all been picked for each.

So, I plan to put them all up and see what you think. I kinda nicked the idea from peroxidepest who did a similar thing with Bleach. So go read hers. Go on. Go...

Number 73, Mother, Kyouya.


	2. Tamaki Father

Here you go…Review replies on the next one, as am at Uni and is meant to be typing out my essay and instead am doing this

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**Father Tamaki**

Father. A very central point in a traditional un-divorced family. Wise and dignified , he is knowledgeable and a family earner; he is part of a core with his partner with his family revolving around the edges.

Of course there is more than one side to such a person. And here is where we come to Tamaki…

He is a vivacious and optimistic speaker, loud and involving. His is a man who by far excels those who come before him. He is the 'life' of the party as it were. He is the man who takes his only daughter dancing, who grandly declares to take the whole family out to dinner, regardless of price and yet it's mother who has to clean up the mess. Tamaki is a father who is there fore his family; not necessarily wanted, not requested by any means but a fixture none the less. As demonstrated below….

"Mother!" Tamaki rushed to get re-enforcements to help him deal with an influx of clients.

Neither of the who most important women in his life however appear to be paying him any attention. They appeared to be a arguing over something on Kyouya's desk.

"No! You still have 500 thousand yen owing for today alone." Mother sounded very angry. "I said _no_!"

"And I said, I don't have a choice! I have to go! Haruhi's teacup lay abandoned on a nearby table, though still neatly in saucer.

"And I said, you cannot go. Tomorrow is a very important day in the Host Club's festival presentation and you _will_ be there!"

"I did not pick this day! I have no choice and don't give me that either!" Haruhi sounded very upset as well.

Tamaki being the loyal father that he was, rushed right into the think of it. "Mother darling! What is the problem!"

"Haruhi cannot go to this…_thing_…I refuse to let her go!"

Haruhi stomped her foot. "It's not my problem. I have no choice; I was volunteered, I have to be there and if I'm not I have to pay a fine of something _huge_ that I cannot_ possibly _afford!"

"Tough! I'll add it on to you debt!"

"My darlings!" Tamaki didn't notice the crowd gathering courtesy of Karou's and Hikaru's meddling. "Is it not possible for you should get along?" He swooned, roses appearing from no where. "The two most important ladies in my life arguing over something so simple!" Somewhere in the back of his mind, the Tamaki Mind Theatre started to play… "And it shall be all better and our family shall be whole again…" He paused, waiting for his daughter's arms to come around him, so he could sweep her around and then the resplendent, gentle embrace of his wonderful partner the one he called his wife, would come around him and the clients shall marvel at the familial love…

"Did you just call me…a lady?" Kyouya's expression was just shy of freezing.

"Change of plan?" Haruhi asked.

"Indeed." Tamaki took no notice of the exchange. Instead he prattled on.

"You are the love of my life, Mother dear! Together we have raised a family, from your loins they sprang forth and you gave them flesh and from your womanly breasts they drew life-"

SMACK!! Kyouya's hand connected with the back of Tamaki's head.

"What. Are. You. On?" He growled; his cheeks slightly pinked behind the glasses. "I am a man! Completely. Utterly. They are not my children; they are not my heirs. I did not give them life from my non-existent-" Here Kyouya shuddered "…Breasts… And you're not my husband!"

He stalked off, head held high; his expression pure. Oh that was his mother Kyouya's,. His beautiful wife…

He turned to his daughter. "Haruhi, my Daughter…!"

"I am not your daughter!" Haruhi turned and stalked off, her eyes flashing and hair flicking.

"You look just like your mother doing that." Tamaki shouted after her. She fled and Tamaki smiled contented. He went to follow Kyouya's running out the door and soon caught up with his wife, who was steaming down the corridor muttering to himself.

"I did not give birth to his children, I did not give them life and I do not have breasts and I do not love him!"

Tamaki laughed to himself. "Yes you did…Yes you did…Maybe sometime in the future and…Yes you do."

SMACK! Kyouya's hand once again connected to the back of Tamaki's head.

All was well in the world of Father…

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Review Please!!

Love you All!

Cannot spell today!


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